I made a big mistake. This entire morning I've been munching on little salty treats here and there and now I'm not hungry at all! But it's lunch time, and I know that if I don't eat now I probably won't be able to until after work! Help!
From,
Snacking in Salt Lake
Dear Snacking in Salt Lake,
Shame on you! Don't you know that snacking prior to lunch can offset your entire day to the point of famine and destruction?! I once knew a young man who ate an entire bag of Mint Milanos from 11 AM to 11:45 AM thus resulting in him not wanting a lunch at all! And you know what happened to him? He ate lunch at 4 PM, which we all know is strictly reserved for early dinnerers or Brits wanting tea time. He soon began a nasty habit of doing this every day... and entire bag of Milanos, but it grew and grew and before you know it he didn't care what kind of Milanos. Mint, double chocolate, orange... any bag of delicious Milano cookies he would eat, and eat fast.
Soon he grew too fat. He was unable to look at himself in the mirror. And in an effort to lose the weight he decided the best course of action was to cut out lunch every day as a fasting technique. He was soon neglected by the lunch crowd, unrecognized in the office, and he received a severe demotion. All for some "harmless" snacking.
Do yourself a favor and get a light lunch, a salad, because one day without lunch could ruin your respect forever. Do that. Or you could die. I don't care, I'm through with you.
Or Pad Thai. You can never go wrong with Pad Thai for lunch.
Sincerely,
Dr. Lunch
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